26th October, 2006
Are You Making This Mistake As A Coach
By World-Class Mental Strength Coach Dr. Alan Goldberg
The dilemma:
You have a very talented athlete who also just happens to be, in your professional opinion, too heavy to reach his/her potential. Perhaps his/her speed, jumping ability, and skill execution is being hampered by the extra weight. What do you do? How do you handle this?
First of all let's make a distinction between those coaches who work in a college setting and all the rest who work with younger athletes. If you coach this younger age group, (8 to 18 years) I don't think it's your job to say anything directly to that athlete about his/her weight, especially if you are a male coach.
I don't think you should be making comments about that athlete being fat. I don't think you should be weighing that athlete or involved in any way with her dieting. I certainly don't think you should be directly suggesting diet pills, vomiting or laxatives like some coaches I know do!
Why Can You Not Do This To Your Athletes?
First, as a male in this society, you can't begin to appreciate what it's like to be female. This may sound a bit basic. However, young women in America are viewed very differently than men. There is a rather sick double standard alive and well in the United States. Men can become overweight yet still believe that they have value in the world. They aren't trained by society to become self-conscious about their appearance.
Women, on the other hand become overburdened by how they look. A female's self-esteem and value are both frequently tied to physical appearance. Being thin and attractive gets you more brownie points in life than being overweight and plain looking. This shallow and inane way of measuring people has been handed down through the generations by a male-dominated society obsessed with thinness.
Second, preadolescent and adolescent girls are extremely vulnerable and insecure self-image-wise, perhaps even more so than their male counterparts. Because of this vulnerability, negative comments about their body size or shape can have devastating and long-lived effects.
An example:
A 24 year-old female swim coach related the following story:
As a 13 year old, she was one of the top swimmers in her age group in the country. She loved swimming and had the talent to become an Olympian. Adolescent girls live and die by the opinion of their coaches, especially the male ones. Kids at this age are actively involved in moving away from their parents and finding other mentors. For the serious athlete, this person is very often the coach. In addition, adolescents are hypersensitive to the opinions of others, especially those who are important to them.
One day, just shortly after setting an American age group record in her event, this swimmer walked out on deck to say "hi" to her coach. He took one look at her and said, "My word, you sure are fat!" How can we begin to understand this coach's insensitivity and stupidity? The swimmer was shocked and devastated by the comment. Shortly after this incident, and for the first time ever, she began to lose interest in her sport. She became preoccupied with her appearance and weight. Several months later she began struggling with an eating disorder that forced her out of the pool for several months. A year later she completely dropped out of swimming. The 24 year-old female coach, relating this personal experience to me was now crying about an incident that happened over 11 years ago!
There are many track, gymnastics, skating and dance coaches who will heartily disagree with what I'm saying. They will justify their focus on their athletes weight and thinness as absolutely necessary for success in the sport. They will continue to greet their athletes with a, "boy, you look fat today" or "you've lost weight, that's great!" In my humble opinion, I feel that this kind of "coaching" is nothing more than a very insidious form of child abuse. But don't misunderstand me here.
I'm not saying that an athlete's extra weight doesn't hold them back. It can and does! What I am saying is that it is up to that athlete to make a decision whether he/she wants to reach a certain goal. If a goal is personally important to an individual, then that athlete will do what it takes to get in better shape. Coaches can certainly talk about what it takes to improve and take your training to the next level, that an athlete needs to be stronger, quicker, and in better physical condition. However, I think it's critical that the coach stops there. Then it becomes the athlete's responsibility to decide what he/she wants to do around the weight issue.
I think this is certainly the case in collegiate sports. To be competitive an athlete has to be in top physical condition. If a weight problem is slowing an athlete down, it's reasonable for a coach to discuss with that athlete getting in better shape. However, it is then up to that athlete to do something about it in a healthy way. It's the athlete's responsibility, not the coach's. Continually commenting on the weight issue and overtly demeaning the athlete's physical appearance is not a helpful way to resolve the problem.
Should you suspect an athlete has an eating disorder problem, however, it is critical that you deal with it directly and immediately. You should refer them to counseling services and make their seeking help a prerequisite for remaining on the team. Eating disorders are extremely serious and should be treated that way.
Dr. Goldberg was the sport psychology consultant to the 1999 NCAA Men’s Basketball National Champion University of Connecticut Huskies. He is the former Sports Psychologist for the University of Connecticut Athletic Department and continues to work with several teams. As a nationally known expert in the field of applied sport psychology, Dr. Goldberg works with athletes and teams across all sports at every level, from professional and Olympic caliber, right down to junior competitors. Dr. Goldberg specializes in helping athletes overcome fears & blocks, snap out of slumps and perform to their potential. His book, Sports Slump Busting
